Companion: Elder Whimpey
Date: August 25, 2015
Hi Family and friends. So another week down and Im getting close to leaving the CCM and going to Wisconsin man I cant wait to get out there and start teaching real investigators! Man these weeks fly by but the days are pretty long, but I am learning a lot so its ok. Im trying to think of what happened this week but honestly all the days are just going into one day. We laugh at every thing and I dont know if that is because things are really funny or if we are just like so surrounded by weirdos but I dont care it helps me get through the day.
I forgot to take pictures of the soccer courts here but dont you guys worry I am getting plenty of soccer in also. The Latinos love playing with me I thought they would be a little bit better but oh well. One day I played until my little pinky toes got terrible blisters on them but it was so worth it. One kid tried telling me he was the second best mid feilder in Nevada and I was like dang lets play and then we played and shortly found out that he probably meant the second best mid feilder in his family but its ok I dont care, I just like to play so whoever wants to play with me I will play I dont care if they say they are the best in the world I will believe them and just start playing.
Okay enough about soccer onto my spiritual thought! I have this story to share with you guys that we had shared to us the other day Its called "The Day Jesus Kept Silent"
The day Jesus kept silent
I don’t quite understand whether it was real or a dream. I only remember that it was late and I was sitting on my favorite sofa with a good book on my hands. I was tired and I began to nod.
In that world between asleep and awake I found myself in a huge room, it was not a particular room except for a wall full of drawers like you find in a library. The drawers went from the floor to the ceiling and looked like there was no end on sight. Each drawer had a different name. When I got close, one of the titles called my attention:
Without paying much attention I opened it and started to read the cards inside. All of the sudden I realized that I recognized the name on each one of them. They were the
"Girls that I have loved!"
I started to realize where I was. This huge room with its endless drawers represented my existence. There I could find each one of the actions of my life even the small ones that I had forgotten.
I started to feel a sensation of curiosity, expectation, and wonder when I started to open the drawers randomly, to explore what they contain.
Some made me happy and brought me sweet remembrances. Others, on the contrary, gave me a feeling of shame and guilt so intense that I had to turn to see if someone was watching me.
The file “Friends” was next to the “Friends that I have betrayed” and “Friends that I have abandoned when they needed me the most”
The titles went from the ordinary to the ridiculous.
- “Books that I have read”
- “Lies that I have told”
- “Condolences that I have given”
- “Jokes that I have told”
The titles kept amazing me. In some drawers there were more cards than the ones I thought would be and in others less.
I was amazed by the volume of the information that I have compiled about my life. How could I have the time to write each one of these millions of cards?
But each card confirms the truth. Each card had my signature and was handwritten.
I became dumb founded when I saw the drawer “Songs that I have listened to”, when I discovered that it did not have an end in sight. I felt ashamed not for the quality of the music but because it showed how much time I have wasted.
When I arrived to the drawer “Impure thoughts”, a tremble ran throughout my body.
I only open the drawer a few inches… I was ashamed to discover its depth.
Randomly I took a card out and I read it. I felt sick knowing that “this” moment hidden in obscurity had been recorded.
I didn’t need to see any more…
An animal instinct came out of me. A thought dominated my mind. No one should ever see these cards. No one should ever enter into this room… I have to destroy it!
With insane feelings I pulled on a drawer, I had to empty it and burn the cards that it contained.
But I discovered that I could neither empty nor could I burn the cards. I realized that I could not even dislodge a single one from the drawer.
I became desperate and tried to yank even harder, only to discover that they were harder than steel when I tried to rip them.
Defeated and completely defenseless, I returned the drawer to its place.
Placing my head against the endless bookcase, invincible witness to my miseries I started to cry.
Then the title of one of the drawers made me feel a little bit better. “People with whom I have shared the Gospel”.
The handle shined when I opened it I found less than 10 cards. Once more tears came to my eyes. I was crying from the depth of my being. I could not even take a breath. I fell to the floor crying in shame.
A new thought came to my head: No one should enter this room, I need to find the key and lock it permanently.
While I dried my tears, I saw him.
Oh no!!, please don’t!!, not Him!!, anyone but Jesus.
Helpless, I saw how Jesus opened the drawers, and read each card. I could not stand to look at his reaction.
At that moment I didn’t want to meet his eyes.
Intuitive Jesus drew near the worse drawers.
Why does he have to read them all?
With sadness in his eyes he looked into mine, I lowered my head with shame; I put my hands on my face and started to cry once more.
He came near, put his hands on my shoulders.
He could have said many things. But he did not speak.
He stood next to me, in silence.
That was the day that Jesus kept silence… and cried with me.
And returning to the drawers, from one side to the other side of the room, started to open them and one by one and on each card he signed his name over mine.
Oh NO!!, I screamed running toward HIM.
The only thing I could say was NO!!, NO!!
When I ripped the card from his hands. His name didn’t need to be in those cards. Those weren’t his sins they were mine!!.
But there it was. Written in crimson. His name covered mine, written in his own blood.
He took the card from my hand, he looked at me with a sad smile and continued signing cards.
I don’t understand how he did it so quickly.
The next instance I saw him closing the last drawer and come to me.
He gave a tender look and said to me: “It is done, it is finished, I am carrying your shame and guilt.
At that moment both left the room…Room that still is open… because there are more cards to be filled…
I still don’t know if it was a dream or a reality…but, of what I am convinced, is that the next time that Jesus returns to that room, he will find more cards that will make him happy, less wasted time and less vanity and shameful cards
This story really hit me deep when I read it, I feel we forget sometimes that God knows our thoughts and all of our actions. But God loved us so much he sent is only Begotten Son to Atone for us. Christ gave the Ultimate sacrifice and he now takes the shame and guilt of all of us. It doesnt matter if we decide not to use the Atonement it is already there for us. Now I share this with you not to make you feel guilty but to now remember next time you have that opportunity to brighten someones day or to share this amazing gospel with them you should do it, because when we are in the service of our fellow man we are only in the service of god. God loves all of us so much and all he wants is for us to make it back to him. We can do this I know at times we may feel a lone or feel that things are impossible but just know the Savior is there with out stretched arms. Thank you everyone for your prayers, I have felt them every week. Now my challange to you is to do good every day just go out and make one persons day, doesnt matter what it is just forget yourself for a second and go and find those who are in need of help. I love you all and I cant wait to get on and share next week more with you!
Love Elder DeSantis
|Elder DeSantis with his care package from his mama|
Thanks Dad for your amazing words, while I have been on this mission I felt the spirit so strong and feel that I have had almost the whole time I have been here! A quote going along with your light email says "Spiritual light doesnt come to those who sit in the dark waiting for someone to turn the light on, It takes an Act of faith." I know this to be true, when we act in faith the lord blesses us. I took the act of faith going on a mission and the lord has taught me more then I would have ever thought in last few weeks. I love you so much dad and thank you for the love you give to everyone, you truly do have the love of Christ in you! I am going to try and gain that attribute that the Christ had cause I believe that is his best attribute. Elder Bednar said if we have a question about anything the best way to receive an answer is by reading. He said to buy a blue soft cover book of mormon and read it all the way through with your question in mind and then mark it up, then once you are done write a paragraph of what you learned. So I am going to do that I am going to read with the question in mind of how to gain the love that Christ had! Love you so much Dad I know the lord has amazing things planned for you and mom! Stay strong Dad Ill be back before you know it!
Love Elder DeSantis